Look At This Awful Goalie Mask

The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

Gilles Meloche – Cleveland Barons

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Saturday or Sunday is going to be the day I post a mask I like, aside from the Friday Palate Cleanser. Here’s my first choice.

Considering I base a lot of my criticisms on how busy a design is, you would think I shouldn’t like this mask, but to me it’s perfect.

It’s only three colors and it’s so well rendered I think it must be one of my top ten favorites. Look at the way the mantel cascades down from the knight’s helmet and curls around the sides of the mask. This is a superb design, perfectly executed.

All this time I thought the red portion in the center was a shield, befitting the heraldic theme. But after looking around a little bit on Google images, I realized it’s actually the State of Ohio.

photo from Classic Auctions.

And can you believe it? There’s a YouTube clip of it!

Judgment: Good. And not just good, but fantastic.


Written by kdjohns

September 27, 2009 at 1:41 pm

Posted in barons, good, meloche

Cesare Maniago

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I wrote in this post about why I thought Bernie Parent’s plain white mask was intimidating. To me, Cesare Maniago’s plain mask is somewhat less than intimidating. Why?

Because it reminds me of this.

Written by kdjohns

September 26, 2009 at 2:15 pm

Posted in maniago, north stars

Rick DiPietro

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I’m a veteran and a patriotic American. I fully support our Armed Forces and I will be forever proud of them. So I would feel like a total dick for criticizing this mask.

So I’ve brought in a guest to give his opinion.

What do you think of this mask Dave?

Oh my God—it’s full of stars!

DiPietro photo from Sports Illustrated.

Written by kdjohns

September 26, 2009 at 1:43 pm

Posted in bad, bowman, dipietro, stars

Friday Palate Cleanser

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After a week of awful, I’ve designated Friday palate cleanser day. And what better way to do that than with a mask as unadorned as Bernie Parent’s?

I often hear of a goaltender’s mask as being intimidating. But I ask you, what’s more intimidating? A mask, or a record as a great goalie? A crap Darth Vader mask, or a mask that is almost completely blank?

What’s so great about this Parent mask? It says “I came here to chew gum and stop pucks. And I’m all out of gum”.It says “I don’t need any fancy-ass design to show you I mean business”. It says “I am awesome and I know it”.

What would intimidate me? Going up against Parent, not a mask. And can we throw the late, great Pelle Lindbergh into the mix ? (God, has he really been gone this long?) Because he didn’t need anything other than just being great either.

So who seems more intimidating to you? Those two legends in their plain white masks? Or Martin Gerber in that silly Darth Vader mask?

Yeah, I thought so.

Written by kdjohns

September 26, 2009 at 1:02 pm

Ride the lightning!

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What does a goalie do when he has some of that awful empty space on his mask that needs to be filled? Add lightning!

When should you have lightning all over your mask? When you play for the Tampa Bay Lightning.

Except when it looks like this.

These masks are awful in other ways too. Let me say this, I’ll be dealing with you and your robo-chicken soon Giguere.

All photos from Sports Illustrated.

Written by kdjohns

September 25, 2009 at 5:11 am

Olaf Kolzig

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Olaf Kolzig retired yesterday. I’m sorry to see him go, but I’m not sorry to see this mask go.

Photo from Sports Illustrated.

Photos from Off Wing Opinion.

Before I saw the video below, I figured this was supposed to be Mecha-Godzilla. As a kid growing up in Minneapolis, I spent many Saturday afternoons watching Godzilla double features for ninety-nine cents (it was the seventies), and this Mecha-Godzilla makes me sad. It makes him sad too.

Godzilla: Are you crying?
Mecha-Godzilla: No, I have something in my eye (turns away in shame).

“…Mecha-Godzilla. It’s a futuristic, robotic looking creature, and I think, you know, it stands out”.

“Sometimes masks can be a little too detailed (no kidding?!). They’re tough to pick up on camera, but when you see them up close, you go “Wow! That’s pretty cool”.

Or you go “What the hell did you do to my beloved Mecha-Godzilla”?!

Judgement: Ugly

Since he is retiring, I want to close this post on an up-note. I do like this Godzilla mask he used to wear. Why? Because it actually looks like Godzilla.

Written by kdjohns

September 25, 2009 at 3:14 am

Posted in capitals, godzilla, kolzig, ugly

Would you put this on your van?

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So, what do you say Tucky?

I found Tucky here. I hope they let me keep him!
I named him Tucky because he looks like a guy I knew with that nickname. It was short for Kentucky. We were stationed together in New York when I was in the Coast Guard.

Written by kdjohns

September 24, 2009 at 2:18 pm